Friday, November 16, 2012

Four Funny Things I've Seen at The Walmart

I'm sure I've seen more than four funny things at the Walmart, but these are the things that stick out.

Thing #1: Woman Admits She Steals Hand Sanitizer from Her Workplace

I was in the check-out line behind two women and a little girl. The little girl picked up a little bottle of hand sanitizer and asked if she could have it. Her Auntie said, "Girl, why would we buy hand sanitizer when yo mama works at the hospital and can bring home as much as she wants!" Then she turned and looked at me like she was hot stuff. Like maybe I should be jealous of her free hand sanitizer situation.

By the way, in our house, we shorten hand sanitizer to hanitizer. That was Gwen's idea.

Thing #2: A Clueless Employee

I know...shocker, right? A couple weeks ago, I made a quick to trip to the Walmart for a birthday gift. I thought I would chug through a express lane. Little did I know that the cashier was about to slow down the express train.

Me: I would like a gift receipt for this.
Miss Walmart: A what?
Me: A gift receipt.
Miss Walmart: What's that?
Me. A giiiiiifffft receeeeeipt.
Miss Walmart: (speechless)
Me: It's a receipt that doesn't show the price, but can be used to return the item.
Miss Walmart: (speechless)
Me: So the person who receives the gift can't see how much you paid for it.
Miss Walmart: (with disbelief) No. We don't do that. I've never even heard of such a thing.
Me: What? (thinking for a second that I might be the crazy one) I've gotten them here lots of times.
Miss Walmart: Nope.
Me: Yes, I'm sure you do them.
Miss Walmart: (speechless)
Me: I'm not going to buy this unless I can get a gift receipt.
Miss Walmart: (hollering to a cashier at the next register) Hey, have you ever heard of a gift receipt?

To Miss Walmart's surprise, the other cashier came over, pushed a few buttons and magically printed out a gift receipt. TOLD YA, Miss Walmart!

Thing #3: A Fake Service Dog

A few weeks ago, I was in the cereal aisle and noticed a family shopping with a large dog. The dog was on a leash, but it was pretty excited to be in the Walmart. It was jumping around smelling other customers and things on the shelf. The dad had a smug look on his face like he wanted people to notice or comment on the dog. Like everyone else in the aisle, I completely ignored it.

Then I rounded the corner and saw two employees huddled together. I heard one say, "He said it was a service dog, so there's nothing we can do about it."

I've never seen a service dog jumping around smelling things or sniffing strangers crotches, so I'm 99% it was a fake. I wish you could have seen it because I can't seem to find the words to tell you how funny and weird it was!

Thing #4: Flowers in the Men's Room

TJ took this picture for me of some flowers that were unexpectedly displayed in the Walmart men's room. Even though he didn't buy the flowers, I loved that he sent this picture even more than if he had sent the flowers to me. This man gets me!


  1. You know me (being the die hard Target girl and never stepping foot into a Walmart) I'd like to say, "Just go to Target and avoid the drama" but then this wouldn't be nearly as funny!

    1. That's probably a good plan. But there is more action in the Walmart!