Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Super Awkward Story About Needing Double D Batteries

I'm in a beautiful Orlando hotel tonight and realized that I need batteries for an electronic lock that will be shown in my company's expo booth tomorrow morning. I didn't know what size, so I texted an engineer who told me "3 Double Ds".

I reached for the phone to call the front desk, but then I realized how it would sound if I called from my hotel room in desperate need of nine double D batteries. I'll just say it... I was paranoid they would think I was running a vibrator farm up here. So I decided to walk down and ask in person.

I approached a lady at the front desk and started out, "I know how this is going to sound...". Then I accidentally made it really uncomfortable for both of us by over-explaining my need. Afterward, I realized that my blabbering likely made me sound more guilty than simply asking where I could find batteries. But the patient lady let me finish and directed me to a store inside the hotel where I found double and triple As, but not a single double D. I slinked out of the deserted store without saying a word to the clerk who had clearly been watching me browse the batteries.

The original front desk lady I'd talked to was on the phone, so I started over with a different guy. Once again, I awkwardly over-explained myself. He professionally told me there was a Publix nearby, so I headed to the cab line. 

Publix had a fine battery selection, but no double Ds. I called the "3 Double Ds" engineer, who paused, apologized, and told me I needed double As. He must have been thinking about boobs instead of batteries! But at least I was finally on the right track. I hopped back in with my cabbie and attempted to joke about the double D batteries vs. boobs. But he wasn't a native English speaker, and I just confused him until I finally just stopped talking.

I was holding my batteries on my way up to my room. That's when a mustached guy in the elevator gave me a queer little look. I just smiled and slipped the batteries back in my purse. 

And now I'm calling it a night! Whew!

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