Operation Save A Buck

I'm on a kick to save a little money. I realize that one of the easiest ways we can save money is food. I get lazy with meal planning and eat whatever sounds good and is convenient. When TJ works his side job at Richard's (his name for Dick's Sporting Goods), he sacrifices his lunch break to pick up he kids from school in the afternoon. I'm a nice wife, and I bring him deli or fast food that he can woof in down on a 10 minute break. It's not healthy, and it's EXPENSIVE! Well, duh!

Time for a new routine! I know myself enough to know that I will not get up early to pack anybody a lunch. I'm not even in the ballpark of being that motivated in the morning. So we need something easy. TJ got some frozen burritos that he can microwave at Richard's. And I ate sandwiches four days this week. Instead of making lunch ahead of time, I brought ingredients to work and assemble my sandwich in the break room. That way I only have to remember to bring ingredients about once a week. Here's a hint for you: "hint of lime" mayo doesn't have enough hint, but dill mayo is YUM.

Today I broke down and went to Subway because I had a bad experience at the doctor trying to remove my wart. I'll tell you about that soon. I'm not ready to joke about it yet.

I tried to make our evening meals at home this week, too, even if it was more sandwiches, salads, hot dogs or some other cheap, fast solution. Until last night. Because I suddenly realized what time of the year it is. It's my favorite time of the year. Sure, the leaves are pretty, and the weather has been lovely. But that's not what I'm talking about.

It's McDonald's Monopoly.

I dislike McDonald's food. And I don't gamble. I've never bought a lottery ticket and I don't spend a penny gambling when I go to Las Vegas for work. BUT, I believe in my naive, innocent heart that I have a shot at winning McDonald's Monopoly.

Last night I went through the drive through and carefully planned my order using the menu board that smartly lists which items have Monopoly plays. I maximized the plays per dollar with a #1 (on the drink and Big Mac), 3 medium pops (play, play, play) and a 20 piece McNugget (double plays, man. double plays.). I forgot to ask for a Monopoly board, so I stopped the car and made Alli run in and ask for one. After we matched up our plays, I made Alli slowly read each prize and how we were doing. We are one property away from $1 million. So it's looking good for us.

Oh, but then I crushed my own precious hope with my own curiosity. I asked Mr. Google which properties are rare. This also happens to be a list of properties that I am looking for. If you find one of these, please give it to me. I will appreciate your kindness.

Boardwalk

Pennsylvania Ave

Ventor Ave

Kentucky Ave

Tennessee Ave

Verginia Ave

Vermont Ave

Meteranian Ave

Short Line RR

Wedding Coloring Books

I don't remember who it started with, but I've been making wedding coloring books for at least ten years. I mean, I just make them for friends and family, not professionally or anything like that. I got my first images by scanning Emma's Barbie coloring book, but I've collected many more images from my best pal, Google.

I re-use images, but the key to a successful wedding coloring book is personalization. Here's how Kelly's book turned out. I'll type the story under each picture so you don't have to squint.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Kelly. She always dreamed of getting married...some day.

 -----

Kelly grows up and meets a handsome man named Tyler at a wedding. Tyler likes Kelly's big hair and asks for her number.

Kelly gets ready for her wedding day. She is upset that the invitations go out with two stamps.

Side note: Kelly took an invitation to the post office, and the post officer weighed it and gave her stamps. But when Kelly returned to the post office with the invitations, she found out that the post officer had given her the wrong stamps. Kelly had a melt down! A George Washington stamp was added next to the pretty stamp on each pristine linen envelope.

 -----

Kelly's friends and family help her decorate The Holy Trinity Parish Life Center.

Kelly tries to have a good breakfast, but she's too excited to eat.

 -----

Kelly's sister, Amy, helps her get ready for the wedding. Their hair is done, and they will put their dresses on at the church.

Kelly and Tyler text and go out on some dates. Tyler moved to Waterloo and Kelly drops a few hints that she would like a ring.

 -----

One day, Tyler takes Kelly on a helicopter ride over Chicago. "Kelly will you marry me?" "Yes, Tyler! I will marry you!"

Tyler waves goodbye as he heads to the ceremony. He feels nervous about the wedding, but he's sure he wants to marry Kelly.

 -----

Kelly is beautiful, and Tyler is a handsome prince. He asks Kelly if she likes his crown. She's still thinking.

Help Kelly and Tyler decorate a beautiful wedding cake!

 -----

[Word Search uses words that mean something to Kelly and Tyler.]

Kelly always wanted to be a dancer, so Tyler and Kelly do a dance number for guests at their reception in Kalona. Everyone claps politely, but they think it's a little strange.

 -----

Kelly is glad she saved enough frequent flyer miles to go to Maui for their honeymoon! Tyler wants to run on the beach, but Kelly tells him to slow down.

Tyler and Kelly live happily ever after. Soon, their adorable daughter arrives with dark hair and brown eyes.

THE END

I mean the end of Kelly's book. NOT the end of the post. Read on, reader. Especially if you love my idea and want to make your own. I'm about to spill my secrets. 

How to make a Wedding Coloring Book

If you're interested in making a coloring book, you can either ask me to send you my template or follow my tips.

Page Count

Plan to have either 12 or 16 pages. It needs to be a multiple of four because each sheet of paper has four pages, two on each side.

Layout

Unless you're a graphic designer or have a fancy copier that can create a book, the layout is TA-RICK-EE. I use my ghetto design software of choice: Microsoft PowerPoint. It's not fancy, but it works every time. I put two coloring book pages on each slide. You have to zig zag your pages from the bottom so they end up in the right order when you fold them together. Use a pattern like this.

Copy

Print your PowerPoint file and take it to be copied. When you duplex (copy from 1-side to 2-sides) a landscape document, turn every other page of your original upside down. Like this: 



Finish

I usually just fold the books in half. I would prefer to saddle stitch them (put a couple staples in the fold) to hold them together, but I haven't figured out a cheap quick way to do that. They stay together pretty well if you give them a good crease.

Display

I suggest putting the books in a cute chest or basket, and don't forget crayons! You can buy crayons in bulk from party stores. Make plenty of copies of the book because if you make them cute enough, a lot of the adult guests will want one in addition to the kids who need quiet entertainment.

And there you have it! Now you know everything I know about making coloring books. They're super easy and very fun!

Soccer Season

I love watching my kids in their activities! It's a busy, but very fun time of life! We've been spending a lot of time at soccer fields lately. Gwen plays U8 recreational soccer and Alli plays U12 competitive. Emma tried to play soccer, but we decided it wasn't her thing when we had to keep reminding her not to sit down on the field.

Last year, Gwen was more of a follower on the soccer field. She would sometimes make friends with players from the other team. Or she would yell at other players for kicking her in the shins. She's a much better and more aggressive player this year! We woke her up early on Saturday for her game in LaPorte City. Gwen, TJ and I were in the car, almost to the game, and we had this conversation.

Gwen: Is this practice or a game?
TJ: It's a game, Gwen.
Gwen: Dad, are you going to play in the game?
TJ: No, Gwen.
Gwen: I know how we can win. Every time they get the ball, we can just trip them.
TJ: No, Gwen. Please don't trip anybody.
Gwen: Ok. Mom, are you going to watch?
Me: Yes, why else would I be in the car?
Gwen: [fist pump] Yes!
Gwen: (as we're driving through a town that hadn't quite woken up) It looks like there was an earthquake in this town!

Gwen was getting a little frustrated in the game and started getting too aggressive. TJ helps coach and had to yell this exact phrase during the game, "Hey, Gwen! Kick the ball, not their legs!"
Alli usually plays defense, so we were thrilled when she scored a goal on Sunday! Here's a picture from Alli's game a couple weekends ago. I was completely distracted because the SKY was ridiculously amazing! This picture gives you a tiny taste of what it was like in real life.

I like to cheer for the team, but a lot of times I get half-way through what I'm saying and I forget where I'm going with it. Or I yell the wrong name. Saturday I yelled "Go Hudson!" and that team wasn't even playing. Sometimes I start saying a name and do a double-check and end up pronouncing it weird. Like I start to yell, "Go Jasmine!" It's not a hard name, but it comes out, "Go Jazz-ay-man!" Oh, I HATE that! Or I might yell something like, "Nice kissel!" That's a cross between nice kick and good hussel. Ah well. At least I have spirit!  

Kelly's Bridal Shower (and a ukulele tangent)

Did I tell you about the bridal shower I hosted for my friend, Kelly? Don't lie to me and tell me I did, because I know I didn't, and you're only saying I did because you don't want to hear about it. Too bad, sucker!

This was the easiest shower I've ever planned, but we all had a great time! I invited the ladies from work and a couple coworkers' wives. I reserved the back room of a bar that's near the office on a weeknight, immediately after the office closed. I ordered drinks and appetizers. So far, so good. No cleaning and no cooking!

Just in case things got out of hand, I thought it would be best if we all remained anonymous. Therefore, I prepared fake name tags for everyone. Kelly's said Olive Tyler because she's in love with a guy named Tyler. And she's going to marry him! Everyone else got to choose their own. (I left off a couple raunchy ones because I try to keep it real classy here.)

• Anita Bath
• Barb E. Dahl
• Carrie DiBabi
• Crystal Boll
• Emma Royds
• Gaye Barr
• Helen Back
• Iona Braugh (real person who went to college with my Aunt Claire)
• Marsha Mellow
• Mary A. Richman
• Missy Sippy
• Paige Turner
• Peg Legge
• Sharon Weed
• Summer Love
• Wanda Kiss

Then we played a few games. First we did a Purse Scavenger Hunt. On the back of that page, we used crayons to draw the bride and groom. The winners of those two games won traditional shower prizes...Halloween decorations!

The last thing we did was play a game called Fortunately/Unfortunately. It's a good travel game my mom taught me. She's a fun person to travel with! When I was little, we took an annual seven-hour car adventure to Ponto Lake, Minnesota. Remember when I wrote about the lake here? One of the best things about the trip was that my musical mama would bring her trusty ukulele and several copies of her 25-page camp song sheets. My mom typed the song sheets on a typewriter and had them mimeographed at the library. Until one sweet day in the 80's when my dad got a deal on a copy machine that took up half of our our den. Anyway, we would sing our little hearts out in that Oldsmobile. I remember people looking at us as we drove by, and I remember thinking they must be wishing they were in our car. At the end of each song, we would flip through our song sheets and shout out the number next to whatever song we wanted to sing next. After a couple hours, my dad would say "That's enough!" And then my brother would take a nap in the back window and my sister and I fought over who got the seat and who had to pile pillows and bags on either side of "the hump" to make a comfortable place on the floor.

My dad and I were the night owls in our family, so I usually stayed awake with him while he drove. A lot of times he would let me sit on his lap and steer. We played a game to see whose eyes were better, and whoever was the first one to read roadsigns was the winner. My dad always won, but I think I could beat him now. One time I was sitting on my dad's lap in the middle of the night, and he used the steering wheel to explain the solar system to me. That was pretty cool. I decided that some day I would teach my kids about the solar system when they were sitting on my lap steering the car. But then someone came up with a few safety laws, which is the main reason my kids don't fully understand the universe.

WHERE WAS I??? Oh, yeah. We played Fortunately/Unfortunately at Kelly's bridal shower. We all took turns telling the story about Kelly's wedding day. I started the game by saying, "Fortunately, Kelly woke up on time on her wedding day." The next person said a sentence that started with Unfortunately, the next person's sentence started with Fortunately, and so on. Make sense? It's actually a pretty fun game.

Oh, I forgot to tell you about the decorations! I kept them elegantly simple to go along with the sophisticated feel of the shower. I printed pictures of Kelly and Tyler and put them in the bathroom.

Kelly with one of the pictures in the bathroom

P.S. A few months ago, I saw an advertisement for a Uke Circle. It's a thing where ukulele players get together and jam. I called my mom immediately to see if she was interested, but she just laughed. Maybe now that she has DG (Dollar General) sunglasses, she thinks she's too cool for her uke. And then she reminded me that her uke is at the cabin in Minnesota. I may organize a special Uke Circle up there as a nice surprise for her. At her cabin. I think she would really like that surprise, don't you?

Fashion Update

Here's what I wore to work yesterday.

This is another great example of work pajamas. Click here if you don't understand what I mean by that.

Also please notice that I still haven't found a decent pair of black heels to wear to work. Click here if you also don't understand that comment. (Seriously, you should go back and read my archives...there's some good stuff there!) Ok, this should be fun. Guess which shoes I wore:

A. The Party Girls (too high for every day use)

B. Last Year's Party Girls (ugly and uncomfortable)

C. My Old Favorites (about-to-break-off heel, and no, I still have not thrown them away, get off my back about that)

D. My Really Old Favorites (very, very well used and are different heights since the sole came off one heel)

E. My Latest Attempt (made for someone with a shorter foot and longer toes)

F. All of the above.

tdtdtdtdtdtdtdtddt (that's a drum roll) It's D. My Really Old Favorites. :)

If you "got" both of those references without having to click on the links, I thank you very much for being a faithful reader of this little bloggy.

P.S. My Aunt Betty, who is awesomely funny, told me that she almost always wears bracelets because someone told her that bracelets make you look thinner. Never mind that the lady who told her that was selling bracelets. I say it can't hurt! Oh boy, can you imagine how athletic I will look next time I wear a bracelet with my super high heels. I hope people recognize me!

P.P.S. If you ever go to Weight Watchers, do two things at your first meeting. First, wear heavy clothes so you have the potential to "lose more weight." Second, wear heels or at least sneakily stand on your toes when they measure your hight. Your goal weight will be based on your height, so the taller you are, the higher your goal weight can be. You have to be sneaky because they're used to seeing tricks like that.

P.P.P.S. Here's another fashion tip to make your legs look tan in a picture. Let your leg hair grow out just a little bit. Use caution because if they're too hairy, they will look hairy in the picture. Also, please make sure you're not going to sit near anyone or go out in the sun on those days. If you do forget that your kid has a soccer game, and you find yourself sitting in the sun next to another parent you've been trying to get to know, pull your skirt or shorts down over your knees and (this is the most important) KEEP YOUR LEGS TUCKED UNDER YOUR CHAIR. Not that I've personally been in that situation...ok, yeah. I've been in that situation a few times. Oh, and don't waste your time zooming in on my picture to check out my leg tan because I made sure the resolution is too low for you to see any details. :)

That's all.

I might be a stalker

TJ and I started noticing a very artistic van around town about a year ago. We see it so often that we started taking pictures of it and texting them to each other. It's been a fun way to connect! A few of my coworkers have gotten into it, too. I deleted most of the pictures, but here are some that will help you understand why its so easy to spot.

Favorite hangouts: Barnes & Noble, 4th Street downtown, Hy-Vee, Goodwill and the Crossroads mall area.

We hadn't seen The Van in a couple months. But on Friday, TJ texted me with big, big news. The Van has been painted! The Van Guy sometimes comes into the gym where TJ works out, but oddly TJ has never seen him actually work out. On Friday, The Van Guy showed up at the gym, but The Van had a face lift! TJ sent me a picture, but I'm not even going to post it here because it's mostly covered by the sign that was on the window between the camera and the van.

And then yesterday TJ took me out to lunch. It seems that good things always happen when TJ takes me out to lunch because I got to see The Van with my own eyes! TJ drove around the block so I could get a good photo. I admit that I often have to drive around the block or parking lot for this purpose. It's the thrill of the hunt.

The Van was on my side of the street, so I was too close to get the whole thing in the frame. The orange stuff is tape, and it appears to be a work in progress. It looks like an abstract horse. Or it could be a landscape with mountains and river. Or maybe lightening. Any other good guesses?

Let me defend myself before you go calling me a creepola. I don't go out looking for The Van. It seems to anticipate my whereabouts and places itself in my path. It's almost like The Van stalks me. I find it hard to ignore. Anyway, a van like that probably likes the attention.

I'll keep you posted on the transition of The Van. I'm sure I'll see it around, and like you, I'm looking forward to seeing the new artwork!

A message about facial tattoos

TJ and I don't get to go to lunch with each other very often, but he had been telling me he'd found a new place. He kept the details a secret and finally had a chance to take me last week. It wasn't what I expected, but it was great!

The city of Waterloo received a grant from Vision Iowa to renovate the downtown river area. They have built some beautiful things, including an amphitheater, plaza for a farmer's market and extensive landscaping. A building called Public Market was also part of the project, but I hadn't paid much attention to it. That's where TJ took me to lunch. It's a co-op market for local producers to sell all kinds of foods. Here's a link to their website.

The reason TJ took me to Public Market is that they have a hearty lunch buffet for $5.99! They had Monte Crisco sandwiches, lasagna, chicken alfredo, cheeseburger casserole, etc, etc, etc. Most of the people there were older retired folk. The kind of folk you would expect to support the wholesome goodness of a co-op market. The kind of folk who teach Sunday school, babysit their grandchildren, and meet for coffee. You know what I mean. But there was one guy who I couldn't stop glancing at. He was clean and dressed normally. He wasn't doing anything unusual, just sitting at a table quietly eating his lunch. It was the tattoos that completely covered his face. I'm not phased by most tattoos, but I admit that I am bothered by tattoos above the neckline. Here are some thoughts that were going through my head.

• Those tattoos have completely altered his face to the point where I can't even imagine what he'd look like without them. Was he so unhappy with his face that he wanted to cover it?
• He must not be worried about getting identified in a lineup. So maybe that means he's not a law-breaker.
• What does he do for living? How would he get through job interview?
• What does his mom think? And his grandma? Does his grammy have a picture of him on her fridge to show her friends?
• Are any of the people here at the Public Market afraid of him?
• Is he uncomfortable in a setting like this where no one looks like him?
• I hope he doesn't notice me looking at him. Is it more obvious to look at him or to avoid looking at him?
• Maybe he wants people to look at him. I bet people stare at him a lot.

And then, a few hours later...Coincidence? When I got home from work that same day, my own daughter had a facial tattoo.

And the next day at work, I was invited to help deliver some storage storage cabinets to a tattoo shop. Well, guess who happened to be the owner of that tattoo shop. The guy who I had seen all the way across town at the Public Market! He was easy to identify because of the facial tattoos. And he was very nice. I didn't tell him that I'd seen him and had been pondering his choice of artistic expression. 

It is as if I am being given a message not to judge the facial tattoo. Sigh. I'll try.