Wednesday, September 26, 2012
P.S. My Aunt Betty, who is awesomely funny, told me that she almost always wears bracelets because someone told her that bracelets make you look thinner. Never mind that the lady who told her that was selling bracelets. I say it can't hurt! Oh boy, can you imagine how athletic I will look next time I wear a bracelet with my super high heels. I hope people recognize me!
P.P.S. If you ever go to Weight Watchers, do two things at your first meeting. First, wear heavy clothes so you have the potential to "lose more weight." Second, wear heels or at least sneakily stand on your toes when they measure your hight. Your goal weight will be based on your height, so the taller you are, the higher your goal weight can be. You have to be sneaky because they're used to seeing tricks like that.
P.P.P.S. Here's another fashion tip to make your legs look tan in a picture. Let your leg hair grow out just a little bit. Use caution because if they're too hairy, they will look hairy in the picture. Also, please make sure you're not going to sit near anyone or go out in the sun on those days. If you do forget that your kid has a soccer game, and you find yourself sitting in the sun next to another parent you've been trying to get to know, pull your skirt or shorts down over your knees and (this is the most important) KEEP YOUR LEGS TUCKED UNDER YOUR CHAIR. Not that I've personally been in that situation...ok, yeah. I've been in that situation a few times. Oh, and don't waste your time zooming in on my picture to check out my leg tan because I made sure the resolution is too low for you to see any details. :)