Friday, August 17, 2012

Top 5 Things in Our House that Mysteriously Disappear

Here's a list of the top five things that disappear and sometimes even magically reappear in my house. I don't really think it's magic. I think it's my kids.

5. Hangers. This one is more of a shortage than a mysterious disappearance. It may be related to my procrastination in cleaning out closets. I could solve the problem by reclaiming hangers from clothes that we no longer use. Hmmmmm...we'll see.

Primary Suspect: Alli's Closet

Since I'm talking hangers, I'm going to explain one of my "systems." I have invented three main systems to help me function at home: Majors/Minors, Matrix Packing and MHR (Minimum Hanger Requirement). I'll tell you about the first two some other time, but this is like a good time to explain MHR.

I have three levels of hangers. I wish I could throw away all of my Levels 1 and 2, but I need to make the most of every hanger in the house. I do buy more, but it never helps in the long term. To make the most of my hanger inventory, I assign minimum hanger requirements to all of our clothes. I can use a higher level of hanger than required, but I can't go below the minimum. These rules are not made to be broken.

      Level 1: Metal, like from a dry cleaner
  • Scrubby T-Shirts belonging to anyone except me

      Level 2: Plastic without strap holders
  • Scrubby T-Shirts belonging to me
  • Shirts with small collars that won't slip off the hanger

      Level 3: Plastic with strap holders
  • Wide-necked or sleeveless shirts or dresses
  • Jackets
  • Tank tops. I admit that my tank tops have contributed to the problem. I will go count them...Ok, it's 22. I have 22 tank tops plus a couple in the laundry. That's 2 packs of hangers. Oh, boy.
4. House Phones. The reason we still have a house phone is for convenience, but it's not very convenient when someone calls, and I can't find any of the three phones. I have a terrible sense of auditory orientation, which is a term I made up to describe ones ability to locate an object using your sense of hearing. Every time the phone rings, I run around in circles trying to detect the direction of the ringing, but I hardly ever find a phone in time.

Co-Suspects: Alli and Gwen

3. Pillows. Four sleeping pillows belong on my bed. Two for me and two for TJ. I get four to myself when TJ is out fighting fires. Sometimes we only have two pillows, which is annoying. And then, mysteriously, one night, we will have six or seven pillows. One of TJ's best quotes ever was, "I see the pillows have returned." Indeed. It's really weird and unpredictable.

Primary Suspects: All of the Girls

2. Hairbrushes. Do you know that Veggie Tales Song, "Oh, Where is my Hairbrush?" I sing that song almost every day, but I'm not as cheery as Larry the Cucumber.

Primary Suspects: Those of us with hair

This does not include T.J.
1. Eyeliner. This is the disappearing item that inspired this post. I have bought 3 sticks of black eyeliner in the past few weeks, and I have none in my makeup drawer. I'm over my bright green eyeliner phase, but it's all I've worn for the past week because my black eyeliner is gone again.

Primary Suspect: Princess Gwen

Secondary Suspect: Teen Queen Emma

Alli, TJ and Nellie the dog are not interested in my makeup.


If you read yesterday's post on Words with Friends, mayacom has responded and we are working on our game! :)

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