Free Pop and Tampons

I sincerely appreciate two things that my office provides free for employees. Pop and tampons.

Even as a grown woman, I don't want to be obvious by walking from your office to the bathroom with your whole purse. At my daughter's junior high, the girls use pencil pouches. Oh man! I hope I didn't just blow their cover! Hopefully in a generation or two, girls will stop caring about who knows when it's their time, but as for my generation and those before me, we go to great lengths to conceal it! In other offices, I hid a tampon in my sleeve, pocket or waistband. If I were stopped on my way to the bathroom by a coworker, I would pray that the tampon wouldn't slip out of my skirt's waistband and fall at my feet. If that were to happen, my plan was to quickly step on it.

The other free thing in my office is pop, or soda to all of you who aren't from the Midwest. I went through a phase where I said soda because I admit it does seem like a better name for a beverage. But then I decided not to hide who I am, a full blood Iowan, so I'm back to saying pop.

So yeah, we get free pop, Gatorade or green tea. We all appreciate it very much and don't abuse the privilege. However, I do break a couple rules that are related to it. First, there is this sign on the recycle bin.

BWAAH HA HA! I NEVER rinse my pop cans. I used to rinse them if there was someone else in the kitchen watching me recycle, but I don't even do that any more. I took a quick office survey to see if everyone else rinses their cans. I only made it around to one other person, and Kelly doesn't rinse her cans either. I do shake them out, which I feel is a good compromise.

Here's what's sitting on top of our recycle bin.

Clever little cardboard houses for our pop tabs, which will be donated to the Ronald McDonald House Foundation.

I used to not take my tabs off because of a bad experience helping with a pop tab drive on my college campus when I suffered from some painful finger cuts. But then I found out a lady in my office goes through the pop cans before they are recycled to remove any tabs that got missed. That's what you call dedication to a cause! I have perfected my technique and take my tabs off.

I'm a fan of the Ronald McDonald House, and I have actually stayed there. But you know what? Those two cardboard houses have been sitting there for about a year and are only filled up to about the grass. I'm sure we'll get enough tabs to get to $5 or so worth of pop tabs in another couple years. I wonder how much it costs to print and distribute those cute little houses and how that compares to the value of the average number of tabs each one brings in. Huh. Well, I'm done wondering about that because I have other things to wonder about. Do you ever tell someone that you wonder about something and then that's the first and last time you ever think about it? I do that all the time.

Ok, now for the BIG rule I sometimes break when I'm mad or frustrated at work. You know how sometimes it just makes you feel better to break a rule, right? I grab a free pop and quietly approach a certain door in the back corner of our office, away from all the offices, cubes, and heavy foot traffic.

I open the pop and walk around in the room that clearly states "Absolutely no liquid in this room!" I've never spilled, and it really does calm me down because I feel like I've gotten some sort of revenge.

OK, I admit it's not as crazy as you might think. That that room used to house servers and still has that funky raised floor. But now our servers are in a different locked room, and this room is just where we keep our signs and literature. The weird thing is that the actual server room does not have this sign on the door. I also wonder why they keep the server room locked when there are only 15 of us here and our whole office is locked at all times. Maybe our IT guy knows there's a chance I might go in there with an open container of liquid. A very good chance.

Joking Around in the Office

Kelly and I like to joke around with our coworker we’ll call Steve. His real name is Steve. He’s not on facebook or any of that social media stuff, but he asked me not to use his last name here. Otherwise, I would tell you his last name and his mailing address.

The shenanigans started with Kelly’s Wall of Wow!

Please contact me if you have additional photos of Steve. They're not easy to come by, and we hope to continue building the Wall of Wow!

One day, Kelly and I received an awesome deal from Sears Portrait Studios for a free sitting and portrait. We somehow got right in the next day. I'm sure they were completely booked, but happened to have a cancellation. It was a pretty fun photo shoot because the professional at Sears made us feel like real models. We asked her for ideas for cute poses, and she suggested one of us lay down on our stomach and the other lay on top. We opted not to do that. In the end, we split the cost of a $5 frame and had a nice little present for Steve.

Another time, we put a picture of Steve on a stick and I took it with me to England and France. When I got home, I showed a presentation in a staff meeting that included these pictures.

 

I'll end with a few quick Steve stories. All true.

Once upon a time, I was playing a Bags video game with Steve at a work event. People started getting jazzy with the initials that would appear on the back of our shirts when it was our turn to play. I put ANN and someone else put something like BAD. Steve put STD. He was thinking stud, but anyone who has taken health class in the last 30 years knows STD does not stand for stud.

Once upon a time, Steve tried to open his hotel window, and he messed up his finger. After several weird contraptions, surgeries, and physical therapy sessions, he still can't straighten it. He says it's not a big deal, but it's annoying when he's trying to put his hand in a pocket.

Once upon a time, Steve saw a homeless man outside his office window struggling to bring in a fish he'd caught in the river. Steve went out to help him pull it in. See the fishing net in the pictures above? It was taken the day Steve met his homeless fishing friend, Larry.

Once upon a time, Steve managed a guy who started wearing women's clothing to work and changed his name to Lisa.

Once upon a time, Steve got a really good deal on some high end roller blades. Unfortunately, they were for racing, and Steve was unable to slow himself down.

Once upon a time, Steve called into a conference call when he was in a dentist chair.

Once upon a time, Steve and I were travelling for work. I went to my room and sat down to make a phone call. Then Steve came right into my room! We were both confused for a second until we realized the hotel had made an error. We got it straightened out right away. Since then, I've accidentally walked into two other rooms at two other hotels where people have been inside. It's always awkward, whether you know them or not. And that's why you always use the chain and deadbolt, people.

Once upon a time, Steve was late to work because his cows got out. One especially confused beast went to the school and had to be shot down by a local sharpshooter. It’s the kind of thing that sometimes happens to Steve.

The Pajama Loophole

I discovered a way around business casual. I wear clothes that pass for business casual, but are comfortable enough to wear to bed. That means no khaki pants and no fitted button down shirts. Instead, go for soft cotton skirts, dresses and tops. If an outfit is especially casual, pair it with an extra fancy boot or shoe. Also always wear earrings in order to appear more put together. For example, here's what I wore today.

Work pajamas

If I had wanted to dress it up, I might have added a scarf, but it was good enough for today. There are only 15 people in my office, so it's not a big deal. Sometimes our building gets chilly, so on top of wearing pajamas, I also keep a blanket at my desk.

Another day...another PJ.

Today, after going to work, chatting to the school secretary and guidance counselor, going to the orthodontist, and grabbing a sandwich at Subway, my daughter asked me why I was wearing two different earrings. Oh, dang.

It's surprisingly difficult to take a photo of your own earrings.

You know how kids these days wear two different socks? Well, it's kind of like that, only it's not cool and it's not done on purpose. I once wore one navy and one black shoe to a conference I was attending in San Jose with a new boss. They weren't even the same style of shoes. In my defense, I was pregnant, but of course that was another thing I was hiding from my boss. Another morning when I was pregnant, I threw my cell phone in my purse. But when I got to work, I found the house phone in my purse. Not so helpful. Oh, and another time when I was NOT pregnant, I was at work and realized that I was wearing TJ's black dress pants. And I got compliments on them. True story.

But do you want to know something funny? My mom came to a soccer game on Saturday and asked me if I like her new sunglasses.

Nice bling, Mom!

Very nice! I asked her what the DG stands for. Mom said she didn't notice that part when she bought them. (WHAT?) And she thinks DG is for Dollar General. Ha! I'm sure these glasses have been flying off the shelf, what with everyone being so proud to shop at the Dollar General. Who's with me in wanting to rock some DG sunglasses? If we ALL start wearing them, they'll become cool. Kind of like those rubber bracelets that are all the rage. Head out to your local Dollar General store. DG rules!

P.S. I'm so pathetically unaware of fashion that I had to rely on my buddy, Google, to find out that the DG glasses are supposed to be a knock-off of Dolce and Gabbana. But I'm still saying it stands for Dollar General.

Going Batty!

Is it too early for a Halloween post? I say no! I have a simple Halloween decoration idea that's thrifty and makes a big impact. Hoot! Hoot!  I can understand why bats are Halloween animals because they're kind of scary. But why owls? I guess owls are the Native American symbol for death, but in general, I don't think most people are scary. 

I do love owls and even drew one on my extremely artistic magnets - here. But THIS post is not about owls. It's about bats. Not real bats, but cute Halloween decoration bats. Bats have never bothered me, but they do bother a certain man that lives in my house. I'll tell that story another day.

See how cute these bats are on my funky green wall?

It's Easy!

• Trace a store-bought bat decoration on black poster board and freehand smaller bats, making the most of your poster board. They don't have to be perfect!
• Cut out the bats and slightly fold the wings so they are a little bit 3D. (That ought to scare the pants off somebody!) 
• Attach them to any wall with masking tape. Masking tape is the nicest kind of tape to use on your walls, especially if you don't plan on repainting after Halloween. Position them so it looks like a whole colony of bats is flying up and away. 

After you have your bats up, plan a party, and invite me!

Potty Princess - Attack of the Chihuahuas

How many of you love Taco Johns? All of you, that's who! There is a Taco Johns conveniently near my office that I visit whenever I need a quick taco. It's on Laporte Road in Waterloo for you local folks who are interested in visiting. Most of the employees are older ladies who take their job seriously and are noticeably friendly. I thought they deserved a treat today!

Enter: The Potty Princess!

I wanted to stick with a Mexican theme, even though Taco Johns is only Mexican in an American sort of way. Have you noticed that you don't see too many Mexicans in Taco Johns? At least not in the one in Waterloo. Side note: Last week I went to a hibachi restaurant where the Japanese chef makes a big show of cooking on a hot grill in front of you. Our chef's name was Fernando. And he didn't have too many tricks up his sleeve.

Back to Taco Johns. I printed out pictures of ceramic Chihuahuas and placed them in 5" x 7" frames. Thank you very much to my friend, Alisa for donating the frames! They fit nicely in my purse, along with some Command hooks that won't damage the walls. Bah-dah-bingo!

Here are the images I used. You're going to want to scroll down because they are just precious!

I think this is a cookie jar.

This is for sale on ebay.

This poor pup has super short front legs.

This one is pure genius and appeals to nearly everyone.

Oh! And the most exciting part is that I sent my kids in to check on the bathroom 8 hours after I decorated it, and the pictures are still there! Success!!

To the nice Taco Johns ladies: 

You're welcome for your surprise!

Much love,
The Potty Princess (P.P.)

P.S. Here's a link to the first adventure of the Potty Princess. 

Mrs. Fuzzy Toilet O'Topper

This is how the potty started. Earlier this year, I stopped by a Kentucky Fried Chicken in Madison, Wisconsin on my way through town. In the bathroom, I saw this.

Do you see the fuzzy toilet cover on top of the toilet? I named her Mrs. Fuzzy Toilet O'Topper. Here are some of my unanswered questions.

• What thoughtful person followed through with bringing Mrs. Fuzzy Toilet O'Topper to KFC and place her on her throne?
• I can't remember the last time I saw a fuzzy toilet topper. Do they even make them any more?
• Is she sanitary? How is she cleaned? (She didn't look clean.)
• What is her purpose? Are you supposed to put your purse on her? Is she merely a decorative focal point?
• How long has she been there?
• Why is she the only piece of luxury in the bathroom?
• When employees clean the bathroom, do they make a conscious decision to keep her in place?

After taking this picture and thinking about the above questions, I started noticing other public restrooms where people were going the extra mile. I'll share more pictures in another post. And please, if you have them, send me more. It eventually led to me decorating my first public restroom...see my post called The First Mission of the Potty Princess.

Well, last week I happened to be driving through Madison around lunch time. I decided to check in on my old friend Mrs. Fuzzy Toilet O'Topper. I was giddy as I entered the restaurant and headed over to the restroom. Guess what! It's been SEVEN MONTHS, and look! She's still there!

She's a little cockeyed, but Mrs. Fuzzy Toilet O'Topper is still hanging on!

She's a little dirtier. But I guess that shows she's being used...for something.

Mrs. Fuzzy Toilet O'Topper was dangerously close to the flusher, so I was careful not to touch her.

I should be going back through Madison in a couple weeks, and I have formulated a plan. Stay tuned!

WANTED: One Perfect Pair of Black Heels

Lately, TJ tenses up whenever I point toward a shoe store. He tries to say calm and asks, "What are you looking for?" He knows I'm looking for black heels, but I say, "Oh, I don't know, I'm just looking." Or I say one of the girls need shoes. Because if I tell the truth, TJ will remind me that I already have black heels. He's right. I do have black heels. But I still one more pair.

He reads this blog, so I'm going to make my case. Here are the five pairs of black heels in my closet.

Let's meet the candidates up close.

 The Party Girls

I bought these recently to to wear to bachelorette party. I was worried they would hurt me after an hour, but they held up all night! The heels on these shoes are pretty high for me. The benefit is that the added height me look extremely slender. Like crazy skinny. :) The drawback is that I can't walk as well as I would like to. Skinniness trumps the ability to walk in certain social events, but not for every day work shoes. They are not black heels that I can wear to work on a regular basis. Unless someone wants to give me a foot rub every night. No? Ok, then I need different black heels to wear regularly.  

Last Year's Party Girls

I got these shoes for $5 at Target a couple years ago. They pinch and push too much of my toes out the front. And see how the heel curves back under the shoe? It's like the designer was attempting to fool the eye into thinking the foot is smaller than it really is, but it looks weird and isn't very stable. You can have these shoes for free if you wear a 7 1/2 and are willing to ignore my warnings. They're like new, barely worn!

My Old Favorites

I loved these shoes! I wore them so much that the heel is breaking away from the shoe. I keep them because I haven't found a good replacement. The last time I wore them, I walked around on the balls of my feet so I wouldn't totally break off the heel. Now that I'm writing this, I see how crazy I sound, and I will throw them away. I promise.

My REALLY Old Favorites

As you can see, I also loved these shoes. They're rough, but I actually still wear them every once in a while. I'd prefer a slightly higher heel, no frayed seams, insides that aren't pulling out, and most importantly, a sole on the bottom of both heels, not just one. Ever since the sole fell off one of the heels, I stand crooked in them, but I don't think people really notice. They're bad, but I'm not going to throw them away quite yet, until I have a better option.

My Latest Attempt

I was excited to find these cute shoes for $10. I am willing to pay up to $15 for the right pair of heels (yeah, my cheapness is a major part of the problem). The total length of the shoe from my heel to toe is perfect, it's the in-between that's messed up. The shoes are made for someone with a shorter foot and longer toes. You would not believe how uncomfortable that makes them. So uncomfortable that I've worn My Old Favorites and My REALLY Old Favorites in order to avoid them. I will keep them as a reminder that I need to find better heels. On the bright side, I think shorter toes are much cuter thank longer toes, so it is a boost to my self esteem. Kind of like when you lose weight and love wearing your baggy jeans. The looser they get, the more uncomfortable they are. Even though you have to keep pulling them up, you feel awesome in them! You walk around all cocky, trying to make them look as baggy as possible. But then you see a picture of yourself in the baggy jeans, and you realize you don't look thin, just sloppy. And then you don't like your baggy jeans any more. So then you're looking for a great pair of jeans for $20 or less and a great pair of heels for under $15. It's exhausting! Except right now my jeans are as tight as could be, so it's just the shoes I need. I'm not going to try to lose weight until after I find the shoes. I like to take one step at a time. Oh boy.

Yeah, I know...one of my weakest posts ever. If this is your first time reading, it really does get better!